This article first appeared in my business column at AMEX.

A survey by the American Psychological Association reveals that approximately seven in 10 Americans experience physical or non-physical symptoms of stress. These include irritability or anger, fatigue, feeling overwhelmed and changes in sleeping habits. Prolonged stress can lead to burnout. Burnout is defined as an emotional condition marked by physical and emotional exhaustion, loss of interest, cynicism or frustration that interfere with job performance. Burnout leads to feelings of failure and thoughts of “giving up.”

Beyond the usual advice of healthy eating, exercise and adequate sleep, what are some things that you can do to prevent burnout? Here are 10 tips:

1. Know what can trigger burnout. A Scientific American article describes the 12 phases that lead individuals to experience burnout. The first one is a compulsion to prove oneself—an excessive ambition to show colleagues, and themselves, that they excel at what they do in every way. The higher expectations lead to working excessive hours, doing it all themselves, in an obsessive desire to prove that they are irreplaceable. They end up neglecting other life priorities, such as their health. The article points out that “once important things such as friends and hobbies are completely dismissed. Their only standard for evaluation for their self-esteem is their jobs. They become increasingly emotionally blunted.” Leisure time becomes dead time. Know the symptoms of burnout so you don’t let this happen to you. This is an important area where self-awareness can help you manage your life effectively.

2. Practice the relaxation response on a regular basis. The relaxation response is the opposite of the stress response. Dr. Herbert Benson of the Harvard Medical School pioneered an effective method to elicit the relaxation response. The important thing to remember is that this needs to be practiced on a regular basis.

Suspend your skepticism about meditation. Meditation is no longer something that is reserved for Tibetan monks. Many businesspeople today practice meditation as a way of restoring their energy. Scientific studies reported in This Emotional Life, a PBS program, that meditation helps us cultivate the capacity to restrain our impulsive emotional reactions. A habit of meditating strengthens our ability to remain cool under fire. If practiced regularly, it quiets the emotional noise in our lives, strengthens our self-control and can drop anxiety by 50 percent. A quick way to practice meditation is to use an online meditation program to guide you along. Give it a try.

3. Pay attention to what is fragile in your life. Work-life balance is not easily achievable in a highly competitive environment. Nonetheless, think about some small changes you can make to tip the scale. Find the right equilibrium between tension and relaxation. If you need inspiration, consider what Bryan G. Dyson, CEO of The Coca-Cola Company, said to his staff: “Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them—work, family, health, friends, and spirit—and you are keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls—family, health, friends, and spirit—are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”

Are there any glass balls in your life that are not being handled with care? A woman who worked for years in palliative care wrote a touching list of the five top regrets people express on their deathbed. One of them is “I wished I didn’t work so hard.”

4. Take a good look in the mirror. Some causes of burnout could be related to a subconscious need to feel important. This could lead to taking on more than we know we can handle, because we equate being very busy with being successful. Wanting to feel important is common to human beings. We all need to feel special in the eyes of others.

However, for some people the adrenaline rush from being busy—and being seen as busy—can get out of hand. They end up forgetting how to relax. If this describes you, genuinely come to terms with this by facing it head on. Ask yourself if you feel important when you are very busy. Does the need to feel important cause you to have an unhealthy lifestyle, working very long hours, eating on the run and not getting enough sleep? Acknowledging what may be a contributing factor to your hectic lifestyle is the first step to making meaningful changes.

5. Honor and cultivate the things that make you happy. Stress triggers vary from person to person. Triggers can occur when our specific needs are neglected on a regular basis. For some, it might be the need to have some solitary time to recharge and enjoy silent pursuits, such as thinking, envisioning, strategizing or simply escaping. For others, it might be the need to be creative. These needs are a part of life’s enjoyment.

As Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon, said: “When you are 80 years old, and in a quiet moment of reflection narrating for only yourself the most personal version of your life story, the telling that will be most compact and meaningful will be the series of choices you have made. In the end, we are our choices.”

6. Improve your communication pattern. One of the causes of burnout is unproductive work behavior. An example of this is our habitual style of communication; for example, sending long emails instead of picking up the phone or simply getting up and going to someone’s office or cubicle, rambling on in meetings instead of paring down your message. When there is conflict with a colleague or employee, maybe you use the Sherman Tank approach—confronting them head-on without considering the time-consuming, stressful consequences.

Think about how you come across. Are you hasty, noisy, distracted? Do you raise your voice often? In addition to your to-do list, create a communication list: For example, write down the points you want to discuss before you phone someone. Briefly consider what succinct message you can leave if you need to leave a voice-mail. Every small step you can take to turn down the intensity volume in the way you communicate can bring more calm into your day.

7. Find out your resentment triggers. Most driven people can work long hours, and manage heavy workloads and multiple demands without feeling the stress. They even thrive on it. There may be some situations, however, that can trigger a feeling of resentment. When these situations prevail for a long time, the resentment grows and leads to negativity and stress.

In “How to Avoid Burnout”, Marissa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo, addresses this issue: “I have a theory,” she says, “that burnout is about resentment. And you beat it by knowing what it is you’re giving up that makes you resentful.” She gives an example of noticing early signs of burnout in one of her employees. For him, resentment started when he repeatedly had to miss out on his traditional Tuesday night dinners with friends. For another hard-working employee, it was arriving late to her kid’s recitals. What is the one thing that causes you to feel resentment? Deal with it honestly and directly to avoid festering resentment.

8. Set up a morning ritual. What happens first thing in the morning has a way of influencing how the rest of the day goes. Establish a morning ritual that pleases you and sets you up for a successful day. For some people, it might be brewing a perfect cup of coffee and spending 20 minutes on Twitter. For others, it might be walking the dog to the park in the early hours, or spending 15 minutes reading non-work related material. Square CEO Jack Dorsey wakes up at 5:30 a.m. to meditate and go for a six-mile jog. Every morning is a fresh try in life.

9. Manage the cycle of sacrifice and renewal. Many leaders and entrepreneurs find themselves in a vicious cycle of stress and sacrifice for their organizations. They have very little recovery time built in. In Resonant Leadership: Renewing Yourself and Connecting with Others Through Mindfulness, Hope, and Compassion, the authors state that leaders must consciously manage the cycle of sacrifice and renewal by stepping out of destructive patterns and renewing themselves physically, mentally and emotionally.

One way to do this is with mindfulness. Mindfulness means being consciously aware of our whole self, other people and the context in which we live and work. It involves taking care of our bodies, harnessing the power of positive emotions such as hope and compassion, and cultivating some spirituality in our lives. As businesspeople, we have been trained to focus on the rational mind and the mechanics of business, and we are advised to leave the soft stuff at the door. But ignoring the body, heart and spirit means bringing only parts of ourselves to work. This creates an emptiness—we can end up being disconnected from ourselves, our customers and even friends and family. Don’t let this happen to you.

10. Take a test to determine your risk of burnout. The Maslach Burnout Inventory (MBI) is the most commonly used tool to self-assess whether you’re at risk for burnout. To determine the risk, the MBI measures three dimensions: emotional exhaustion, feelings of competence and achievement, and cynicism or loss of empathy. This is useful information to help you assess your situation so you can make some changes before you, in fact, burn out.

Copyright © 2013 by Bruna Martinuzzi. All Rights Reserved.

This article first appeared in my business column at AMEX.

“Values are the key to making money, but only if a company truly takes values seriously,” says Martin Carver, former CEO of Bandag, and executive-in-residence for the Kelly School of Business. Companies spend a lot of time creating values statements that end up being nothing more than words on the company website, or a poster hanging in the lobby.

Company values benefit customers, suppliers, employees and the community. Businesses with strong values, driven from the top down, are also able to attract and retain the best talent. All of this directly affects the bottom line. But for values to make a positive impact, they need to be a part of the corporate fabric—something that people live and breathe on a daily basis.

A great example of a company that does just that is marketing software firm Hubspot. (Watch how it treats values in this slideshare.) One of its values is, “We obsess over customers, not competitors.” It translates that statement into actionable items: For every decision, it asks, what’s in it for the customer? Will this delight them? Hubspot uses the acronym SFTC (Solve For The Customer) to remind employees to stay focused on their core value: educating customers, rather than exploiting them. It even goes as far as defining what obsessing over customers does not entail: “We shouldn’t sell to a customer if we’re not justifiably confident we can delight.”

How can you make values meaningful in your own company or team? Here are 14 tips:

1. Make your values clear so everyone understands them. Values may have been crafted by a consultant or the marketing department, and may not always use language that’s readily accessible to everyone. Values, like mission statements, need to be articulated in such a way that they easily flow from everyone’s lips, whether they’re in the boardroom or the boiler room. Companies often obsess over wordsmithing and end up with vacuous statements. Use concrete language that everyone can relate to and make the values clearly say what you care about.

2. Don’t generalize: Turn values into specific operating principles. More often than not, values are generalized concepts that can be interpreted in various ways by different people. If you want people to truly live the values, make them actionable. Let’s say one of your values is open communication. What does this look like in everyday behaviors? One of the actions aligned with the value might be: “Everyone in the organization, independent of position or title, is encouraged to provide criticism of anything they see that doesn’t work.” By giving specific examples, you place a road map in the hands of employees who are lost in the forest when it comes to espoused values.

3. Make values “committable.” Take an inspiration from Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos. In this video, he outlines his company’s 10 core values. He calls them “committable values,” which means the company is willing to hire and fire based on whether people are living up to the values, independent of their job performance. This certainly sends a clear message that the company doesn’t just pay lip service to the values.

4. Use the interview process to find people who have similar values—and hire those people. For each of your values, makes sure you have carefully developed a set of questions to probe for the candidate’s fit with your values. Trust your gut feeling. For example, if one of your values is humility, don’t hire an egotistical individual who shows signs of arrogance, convincing yourself that he “will add value to the company.” Sooner or later, that person will be a negative influence on the culture you are trying to establish because he doesn’t fit from the get-go. Make enough of these compromises in hiring, and the integrity of the values is eroded—people then stop paying attention to the values. As Jim Collins says, you can’t install new core values into people. “People must be predisposed to holding them … find people who are already predisposed to sharing your core values. . . attract and then retain these people and let those who aren’t predisposed to sharing your core values go elsewhere.”

5. Seek employees’ feedback on the values. Find out what people think about the values. Do they see others living the values? Are there day-to-day practices you may not even be aware of that conflict or contradict the values? Are the management practices effective in fostering the values? Does everyone even know what the values are?

6. Enforce values across the board. Make sure that every person in your shop or team lives the values—whether it’s the sales clerk or the sales vice president, the manager or the machinist. Often values are the purview of upper management and don’t filter down to every person in the organization.

7. Use your core values to empower employees. You can replace onerous policy manuals and handbooks by educating everyone on company values. It’s impossible to come up with a rule for everything. Values become the compass that guides employees in making decisions. It empowers them to use their judgment. This is especially important today, with our global economy, where employees are scattered across satellite offices. Values are a company’s megaphone.

8. Communicate the values often. Trust is at an all-time low. Research from the Edelman Trust Barometer shows that repetition enhances believability. Values are often considered a one-time event: Once they’re crafted, laminated and posted, they are no longer referred to except perhaps at the Christmas party gathering. Take every opportunity to promote the values and keep them alive.

9. Set the example. Above all, ensure that you and your senior team live the values in all you do. Words, without evidence that the words are being applied, reinforce people’s skepticism about the believability of corporate values. As Jim Kouzes puts it, “Titles are granted, but it’s your behavior that wins you respect.”

10. Understand the different types of values—and analyze to see where yours fall. Companies often mistake core values (who we are) with aspirational values (who we would like to be). Continuously talking about aspirational values as though they are the real values is a surefire way to fuel employee cynicism. In Make Your Values Mean Something, Patrick Lencioni adds two other categories of values: permission-to-play (the minimum behavioral and social standards required of any employee) and accidental (which happen spontaneously within a team and take hold over time.) Sift through your values and ask yourself which ones are the true core values.

11. Put a monetary value on your company’s values. A study shows that less than 50 percent of companies measure their ROV (Return On Values.) Give some thought to how you can show your people the direct link of values to revenue and earnings growth. It pays to reinforce the importance of values to the health of your company.

12. Uphold the values in good times and bad times. What a company does in times of adversity is even more important than what it does when all is going well. In 2008, Maple Leaf Food was implicated in a foodborne illness caused by an outbreak of Listeria. One of the company’s values is “Do What’s Right: By acting with integrity, behaving responsibly, and treating people with respect.” And what did CEO Michael McCain do in response to the crisis? He immediately took responsibility, posted an apology on the website and said: “Certainly knowing that there is a desire to assign blame, I want to reiterate that the buck stops right here … our best efforts failed, not the regulators or the Canadian food safety system … I emphasize: this is our accountability and it’s ours to fix, which we are taking on fully.”

13. Beware of the small infractions. A Fortune Magazine article on why companies fail talks about how actions that spiral a company down are the result of an incremental descent into poor judgment: “A ‘success-oriented’ culture, mind-numbing complexity and unrealistic performance goals all mixed until the violation of standards became the standard.” While this refers to big companies doing bad things, the concept applies to everyone, no matter the size of the company: Small integrity slips have a way of slowly diluting a company culture. Make sure that disrespecting the standards doesn’t become the standard behavior.

14. Always show leadership. Proactively manage your own behavior. You have total control on how you deal with your employees and customers. Show leadership in everything you do, and you will have improved your corner of the universe. It might even spread to others. What a wonderful contagion this would be.

Copyright ©2013 Bruna Martinuzzi. All Rights Reserved.

This article first appeared on my column at AMEX.

A study reported in the Harvard Business Review shows that one of the skills most serial entrepreneurs lack is empathy. Empathy is a powerful antenna for understanding the experiences of those around us. It helps good leaders become great leaders and is a key to business success. As management guru Peter Drucker said, “The purpose of a business is to create and keep a customer.” Empathy is an important component of keeping a customer.

In Wired To Care: How Companies Prosper When They Create Widespread Empathy, Dave Patnaik illustrates how successful organizations practice empathy for the consumer in the way they do business. One such company is Herman Miller, which uses empathy to understand the customer and build better products. A company statement explains, “We gain empathy by engaging with nurses and other caregivers in multiple ways. Facility tours, focus groups, gaming sessions and job shadowing help us develop insight into the work of caregivers, to really understand what they do, what their workday is like.” The company then shares those experiences with product development teams through reports, hallway conversations and workshops.

Some people are gifted with a high empathy level while others struggle with the notion. If you or your business struggle, here are seven ways you can practice empathy on an organizational level:

1. Use outsight. Allot five to 10 minutes in your regularly scheduled meetings for everyone to quickly share what they have heard in the field about your product or service. It’s a good way to keep your ear to the ground to find out about customer issues that may otherwise not surface. Don’t wait until you hear a complaint to respond. Use all the knowledge you gain to engage with customers and let them know you care. Empathy engenders loyalty.

2. Build a culture of empathy. When empathy is not practiced within the organization—with all constituents—it’s impossible to expect it to happen with customers. Whitney Hess, a user experience consultant, talks about how designers, for example, focus their efforts on developing organizational empathy for the end-user, but neglect to do the same on their own home turf. As she put it, “They say you can’t truly love another before you learn to love yourself. Organizations are no different. If we don’t love and respect and admire the people we work with every day, we can’t collectively give our customers the love they deserve.” Empathy is an inside-out job.

3. Know who you want to do business with. Entrepreneurs often start businesses without being fully aware of who they want to cater to. A company might start with a B2C model, only to find out in midstream that a B2B model is where they would have focused if they had done a proper analysis. Seth Godin writes, “… too often, we pick the product or service first, deciding that it’s perfect and then rushing to market, sure that the audience will sort itself out. Too often, though, we end up with nothing.” Whether you’re a real estate broker, a bowling alley investor, a yoga instructor or app developer, Godin adds, “in every case, first figure out who you’d like to do business with, then go make something just for them,” Are you targeting the right people? Do you fully understand their needs? If not, what can you do to change this?

4. Build empathy in your post-purchase policies. While everyone should be trained to use an empathetic approach at every touch point with the client, this is particularly important in your post-purchase policies. Make it easy for people to seek redress, if needed. How a customer is treated when things go wrong has an impact on whether or not the person continues to be your customer. For example, watch commission-based frontline employees who may treat a customer seeking a refund with less warmth than they did during the purchase. In Nice Companies Finish First: Why Cutthroat Management Is Over And Collaboration Is In, Peter Shankman shows how a focus on empathic service builds revenue. A customer-centric leader has a framework in place to quickly meet customer demands, puts a premium on what customers say and do, and changes what’s not working without looking back.

5. Write intelligible user manuals. We have all been through the annoyance and frustration of having to follow instruction booklets that tested our patience. Some are so badly written, in a rush to get the product out the door, that you would never know from the writing that the person actually followed the same instructions themselves. Putting yourself in the shoes of the manual reader is one small but impactful way to show empathy.

6. Take an empathy test. People generally know whether or not they have empathy. However, we often misjudge the extent of our empathy. If you need help to raise your self-awareness in this critical area, consider taking this free online Empathy Quotient test. To get feedback from your constituents on your empathy level, consider taking an emotional intelligence test.

7. Empathy as a way of life. If you have children, there is probably no greater gift you can give them than to help them understand and practice empathy early on. Take an inspiration from this the video below showcasing how Japanese fourth grade students are taught empathy. Closer to home, we have Roots of Empathy, an organization that has been successful in developing empathy in children and decreasing aggression and bullying.

Copyright © 2013 by Bruna Martinuzzi. All Rights Reserved.

This article first appeared in my column at AMEX.

“There’s only so low you can go on price. There’s only so excellent you can make your product or service. There’s only so far you can stretch your marketing budget. Your heart though—that’s boundless.” Gary Vaynerchuk‘s comment captures the essence of the humanization of business: treating our business relationships as we would our personal relationships, showing the customer that we really care. It’s about applying the timeless principle of reciprocity.

Reciprocity—giving in exchange for receiving—is one of the most powerful tools for building customer loyalty. In Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive, Robert B. Cialdini talks about the importance and universality of the norm of reciprocity, which makes us feel obligated to repay others for what they have done for us. The norm drives us to be fair and equitable in our everyday social interactions, our business dealings and our close relationships. It engenders trust with others.

Reciprocity sometimes gets a bad rap. It’s seen as a mercenary act—a “you owe me” kind of exchange, or a form of manipulation. But the other side of the coin is that reciprocation can be a genuine act of caring, a way of showing up in the world. It’s about cultivating business relationships in a manner that is not different from the way we cultivate personal relationships that matter to us. When done genuinely, from a natural desire to be of service, the rewards are high.

How can you make use of the principle of reciprocity to make true connections? These 8 tips will help.

1. Conduct an audit of all your business relationships. Are you taking any business relationships for granted? What can you do to rekindle the initial interest you showed in the relationship? This could be as simple as sending a handwritten note to thank customers for their continuing support, or giving them an unexpected bonus such as free shipping or a special deal. It could be recommending their business to others, or providing them with some free information that is particularly useful to what they do. Nurture existing long-term relationships the way you court new ones.

2. Adopt the motto: “No Interaction Left Behind.” The motto comes from Vaynerchuk. Small businesses that are active on social media have a tremendous opportunity to connect with their customers. Take every chance to be responsive to all interactions, not just complaints. Respond appreciatively to positive customer reviews, or any comments left on your site. Use the many digital tools of reciprocity, such as retweeting, liking, commenting, sharing, replying, adding to Google circles or recommending by clicking +1, the digital shorthand for “this is cool.” All of these actions signal: I appreciate you.

3. Be generous. We will never known what opportunities we may have missed in life by showing up tightfisted. It’s hard to receive anything if we don’t open our hands to give. This is true in our personal life as it is in business. Take the example of a travel agency. You book a cruise with one agency and you get good service, but nothing else. Another travel agency also provides good service, but goes the extra step of having a bottle of wine to greet you in your cabin, with a personalized note. Sometimes the difference between keeping and losing a customer in a competitive market is nothing but the cost of a $30 bottle of wine.

4. Give ‘em the pickle! Take an inspiration from Bob Farrell, restaurant owner who pioneered the “Give ‘em the pickle“ customer service concept. The program started when a disgruntled customer sent a letter to complain that he was no longer going to patronize the restaurant because for years he had received an extra pickle with his food, but when a new waitress joined, he was asked to pay for the extra pickle. Since then, the war cry of Farrell’s company has been “Give ‘em the pickle.” It’s about ensuring that every employee in your shop or company makes serving others their number-one priority. Find out what the customers want and make sure they get it. That’s the pickle. The pickle is the extra thing that you can do to make people happy. What’s the pickle for your company?

5. Reward referrals. Referrals that translate into a business deal not only generate revenue; they also save you time and money in your sales expenses and sales cycle. For a small business, in particular, they are golden currency. It’s surprising how many individuals don’t reciprocate beyond saying thank you in an email that requires less effort and energy than the person expended in providing the referral. A handwritten note to let the person know how much you appreciate the referral is a more caring way of responding. Add a small gift certificate to Starbucks, some theater tickets or a box of chocolates—any token of your appreciation. If the business deal was substantial, make it more personal with an invitation to dinner to genuinely show your gratitude. It’s the old school way of doing business. It’s being human.

6. Add value through quality content. Don’t tease people by providing some small content and monetizing the rest. Freely share quality content, on a regular basis, to engender good will and develop a following. It will come back to you in different ways. Ask your followers online what information would be most helpful to them. Research problems your customers might be having in their business and publish answers on your blog. Zach Davis, from Tech Cocktail, suggests that you use the Twitter Advanced Search feature to research people’s complaints and solve their problems whether or not their issue is directly tangible to your business model. As he puts it, the mere act of doing this favor is enough to trigger a sense of reciprocity.

7. Listen, listen, listen. Editorial cartoonist Frank Tyger once said, “There is no greater loan than a sympathetic ear.” In today’s noisy world, filled with distractions, people are starved for someone who truly listens. Listening is one of the kindest reciprocal activities. Give your employees and colleagues the gift of your attention by carving time to listen to their problems, hopes and aspirations.

8. Give without expectation. Despite what the principle of reciprocity dictates, give without any expectation. A common Chinese proverb says, “Forget the favors you have given; remember those received.” When we do favors, or go the extra mile with the intention of collecting later, something inevitably leaks through in our interaction with others. People can smell this a mile away. Making people feel obliged backfires, as they resent it, and it also diminishes the initial act. Finally, give to those who can be of no use to you. John Wooden put it beautifully: “You can’t live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.”

Copyright © 2013 by Bruna Martinuzzi. All Rights Reserved.

This article first appeared in my business column at AMEX.

“When you advertise fire-extinguishers, open with the fire,” says advertising executive David Ogilvy. You have only 30 seconds in a TV commercial to grab attention. The same applies to a presentation. The first 30 seconds of your talk is crucial. This is the time your listeners form an impression of you, and of what’s to follow.

Like a fine thoroughbred, you need to hit the ground running by starting strong. Instead, many presenters are more like old, tired workhorses—they start weak by wasting those first precious seconds with platitudes and pleasantries. Brain research shows that we don’t pay attention to boring things. Surprise your listeners with a hook that immediately grabs their attention.

The key is to make sure that the hook is brief, well-rehearsed and pertinent to your topic. What follows is 12 hooks that will grab your audience’s attention—and keep it.

1. Use a contrarian approach. Make a statement of a universally accepted concept, then go against conventional wisdom by contradicting the statement. For example, a market trader starts by contradicting the commonly held advice of buying low and selling high. He says: “It’s wrong. Why? Because buying low typically entails a stock that’s going in the opposite direction—down—from the most desired direction—up.” This is a provocative opening that engages the audience right away.

2. Ask a series of rhetorical questions. A common way to engage the audience at the start is to ask a rhetorical question. Better still, start with a series of rhetorical questions. A good example of this tactic is Simon Sinek’s TED presentation. He starts with: “How do you explain when things don’t go as we assumed? Or better, how do you explain when others are able to achieve things that seem to defy all of the assumptions? For example, why is Apple so innovative? … Why is it that they seem to have something different? Why is it that Martin Luther King led the civil rights movement?” A series of rhetorical questions stimulate the audience’s mind as they ponder the answers.

3. Deliver a compelling sound bite. Use a catchy phrase or sound bite that has pungency and watch how the audience perks up. Innovation expert Jeremy Gutshe opens his talk with: “Culture eats strategy for breakfast. This is a sign that is on Ford’s strategy War Room. And the lesson from it is not how good your PowerPoint slide deck is, what it really boils down to at the end of the day is how ready and willing your organization is to embrace change, try new things and focus in when you find an opportunity.” To be effective, the sound bite needs to be brief, interesting and compelling.

4. Make a startling assertion. A surefire way to gain people’s attention is by starting with a startling or amazing fact. Take the time to research startling statistics that illustrate the seriousness of what you’re going to talk about. For example, a presentation about conservancy can start with: “Every second, a slice of rainforest the size of a football field is mowed down. That’s over 31 million football fields of rainforest each year.”

5. Provide a reference to a historical event. There are times when the day that you present may have some significance in history that can be tied to the subject of your presentation, as an opening gambit. You can easily look up what happened on any day in Today In Sport or a more general site such as This Day In History. You never know what pertinence it might have that will add some pizzazz to your presentation. It’s worth a look.

6. Use the word imagine. The word imagine invites the audience to create a mental image of something. Ever since John Lennon’s famous song, it has become a powerful word with emotional appeal. A particularly skillful use of the word occurs in Jane Chen’s TED talk.

She speaks about a low-cost incubator that can save many lives in underdeveloped countries. Chen opens by saying: “Please close your eyes and open your hands. Now imagine what you could place in your hands, an apple, maybe your wallet. Now open your eyes. What about a life?” As she says this, she displays a slide with an Anne Geddes‘ image of a tiny baby held in an adult’s hands. There is power in asking the audience to conjure up their imagination, to play along. This tactic can easily be adapted to any topic where you want the audience to imagine a positive outcome, or a vision of a better tomorrow. It can be used, as well, to ask them to imagine being in someone else’s shoes.

7. Add a little show business. According to research, 100 percent of Americans quote movies, primarily comedies, in conversation. One of the primary reasons is to entertain. Movies occupy a central place in most people’s lives and a well-placed, pertinent movie quote at the start of a presentation can perk up your audience. Here are a couple of examples: “There’s not a lot of money in revenge” (from The Princess Bride) and “The first rule of leadership: everything is your fault” (from A Bug’s Life.) And here are a couple of sites for movie quotations to start you off: Best Business Quotes From The Silver Screen and The Best Business Wisdom Hidden In Classic Movie Quotes.

8. Arouse curiosity. You can start with a statement that is designed to arouse curiosity and make the audience look up and listen to you attentively. Bestselling author Dan Pink does this masterfully in one of his talks. He says: “I need to make a confession, at the outset. A little over 20 years ago, I did something that I regret. Something that I am not particularly proud of, something that in many ways I wished no one would ever know, but that here I feel kind of obliged to reveal. In the late 1980s, in a moment of youthful indiscretion, I went to law school.” Curiosity here leads to some self-deprecating humor, which makes it even more effective.

9. Use quotations differently.Many speakers start with an apt quotation, but you can differentiate yourself by stating the quotation and then adding a twist to it. For example, “We’ve all heard that a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. But we need to remember that a journey to nowhere also starts with a single step.” You can also use a quotation from your own life. For example, in a presentation on price versus quality, I have often used a quote from my grandfather, who used to say: “I am not rich enough to buy cheap.” There are innumerable sources for online quotations, but you might also consider The Yale Book of Quotations, an app that brings together over 13,000 quotes you can adapt to your purpose.

10. Quote a foreign proverb. There is a wealth of fresh material to be culled from foreign proverbs. Chances are your listeners have never heard them so they have novelty appeal. Here are some examples: “Our last garment is made without pockets” (Italy); “You’ll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind” (Ireland); “The nail that sticks up will be hammered down” (Japan), and “Paper can’t wrap up a fire” (China). Here is a site for foreign proverbs.

11. Take them through a “what if” scenario. A compelling way to start your presentation is with a “what if” scenario. For example, asking “What if you were debt-free?” at the start of a money management presentation might grab your listeners’ attention as it asks them to look forward to a positive future. It can intensify their desire for your product or service. Using a “what if” scenario as an opening gambit is easily adaptable to almost any presentation.

12. Tell them a story. Stories are one of the most powerful ways to start a presentation. Nothing will compel listeners to lean in more than a well-told story. Science tells us that our brains are hardwired for storytelling. But the story needs to be brief, with just the right amount of detail to bring it to life. It must be authentic and must have a “message,” or lesson, to support your viewpoint. Above all, it must be kind. As Benjamin Disraeli said: “Never tell an unkind story.”

Copyright © 2013 by Bruna Martinuzzi. All Rights Reserved.

This article first appeared in my business column at AMEX.

To be a successful leader or entrepreneur, we need to become intimate not only with our strengths but also with our blind spots, those aspects of our personality that can derail us. John C. Maxwell defines a blind spot as “an area in the lives of people in which they continually do not see themselves or their situation realistically.”

All of us have blind spots. A Hay Group study shows that the senior leaders in an organization are more likely to overrate themselves and to develop blind spots that can hinder their effectiveness as leaders. Another study by Development Dimensions International Inc. found that 89 percent of front-line leaders have at least one blind spot in their leadership skills.

When we’re in a leadership position, our blind spots can cause a great deal of damage, not only to our career but to the people who depend on us. How can you avoid this potential pitfall for yourself and your business? These eight tips can help.

1. Raise your awareness of the top blind spots. This Executive White Paper shows the 10 blind spots that are most risky to personal and organizational success. The top three are: under-communicating strategic direction and priorities, poorly communicating expectations, and waiting for poor performance to improve.

Leaders are often surprised when stakeholders complain that there isn’t enough communication about the business’s vision and strategy. There is a communication gap between what leaders think is enough and what stakeholders need. Communication also extends to one-on-one leadership conversations. Leaders often fail to see the harm that is done to the organization when they consistently avoid having the difficult conversation with a non-performer, hoping the issue will resolve itself.

2. Don’t hire in your own image. In the Top Ten Mistakes that Entrepreneurs Make, Guy Kawasaki includes one of the most pervasive blind spots that leaders often have: Hiring people who are like them instead of hiring individuals who have complementary skills. Hiring people who are similar results in organizational weaknesses. As Kawasaki puts it, “You need to balance off all the talents in a company.”

3. Establish a peer coaching arrangement. Every leader can benefit from peer coaching with leaders in other organizations. As a business owner, consider peer coaching with a noncompeting business that’s the same size. In Five Ways To Find Out What You’re Doing Wrong, Les McKeown says, “Most organizational blind spots are size-related, not industry-specific. In other words, your blind spots will have more in common with other businesses of a similar size and age than they will with other businesses in the same industry.”

4. Examine your past history. To gain insight into behaviors that may not serve you well, think back on your past successes and failures as a leader. This kind of introspective inventory can yield some powerful insights. What do you need to stop doing? What do you need to do more of? What do you need to start doing?

5. Understand your habits. Blind spots are not necessarily weaknesses—they can also be habits or instinctive reactions to situations. For example, do your workload and stress cause you to interrupt people in meetings in order to speed up things? As Tom Peters shows in this video, most managers are 18-second listeners. If this describes you, work on developing more patience. It will enhance your interpersonal skills and improve your leadership effectiveness.

6. Place a high priority on relational skills. In Winning With People: Discover The People Principles That Work For You Every Time, John C. Maxwell states a simple, but powerful truth: People can usually trace their successes and failures to relationships in their lives. Every time something good or something difficult has happened to you, you can most likely point it back to some relationship you had. Studies show that only 15 percent of a person’s success is determined by job knowledge and technical skills, and 85 percent is determined by an individual’s attitude and ability to relate to other people. As Maxwell observes, many leaders have big relational blind spots. For example, some individuals may come across as arrogant, stomping on people in their quest to achieve results. They may not be aware of the need to curb their arrogance until it’s too late. Others may not show much warmth and fail to pick up on the emotional clues that others give them. Make it a priority to develop healthy interpersonal skills.

7. Consider the downside of your strengths. It’s a known fact that our gifts, taken to the extreme, can be liabilities. For example, one of your strengths might be that you are prudent in your decision-making. But what you view as caution, taken to the extreme, might result in fear of risk taking. In the long run, this can work against you. You may pride yourself in being a visionary, but taken to the extreme, you may bounce off in too many directions, frustrating others on the team by switching gears too often. List all your strengths, and reflect on how they manifest themselves in your leadership style. If you need help in this area, work with a mentor or coach. Consider asking your constituents for feedback. We rise as a leader when we have the courage to ask, “How are my actions affecting performance?”

8. Take an assessment to identify your blind spots. The Reiss Motivation Profile is a comprehensive, psychological assessment of what motivates us. It identifies 16 basic desires that will give you insight on why you do what you do and will help you identify your blind spots. For example, the desire for independence can end up being a blind spot when a leader refuses to admit that he can’t do it all by himself. A quick, online assessment can be accessed at Find Your Blind Spot Now.

Copyright © 2013 by Bruna Martinuzzi. All Rights Reserved.

This article first appeared in my column at AMEX.

“Personal productivity is a key differentiator between those who succeed in their chosen field and those who do not,” says bestselling author Brian Tracy. Leaders and entrepreneurs who are at the top of their game know how to achieve what they want in less time than others. We can learn a lot from the tactics of these successful, and incredibly busy, individuals on how to better organize our own days. Here are 12 top tips worth trying out:

1. Have a single purpose focus. One thing many successful entrepreneurs have in common is the ability to focus on what matters most. Eric Schmidt, Google’s executive chairman, says, “I keep things focused. The speech I give every day is: ‘This is what we do. Is what we are doing consistent with that, and can it change the world?’” Jason Goldberg, CEO of Fab.com, has this piece of advice: “Pick one thing and do that one thing—and only that one thing—better than anyone else ever could.” We can derive a great deal of power from developing a laser focus on our top business priorities. It’s one of the attributes that sets apart the average businessperson from the more successful one.

2. Ruthlessly block out distractions. Tennis legend Martina Navratilova says, “I concentrate on concentrating.” For those of us who don’t have the willpower to be self-accountable, there are several technology solutions for blocking out distractions. For example, Rescue Time is an application that runs in the background of your computer and measures how you spend your time so you can make better decisions. Get Concentrating is another useful tool that will help you focus on important tasks by temporarily blocking social media sites. (Are you easily distracted? If so, here are six more popular programs to block distractions.)

3. Set a strict time limit on meetings. Carlos Ghosn, CEO of Renault and Nissan, is strict on the timing allotted for single-topic, non-operational meetings: He allows a maximum of one hour and 30 minutes. Fifty percent of the time is for the presentation, and 50 percent is for discussion. Gary E. McCullough, former U.S. army captain and now CEO of Career Education Corp., gives people half of the time they ask for a meeting or appointment. This forces them to be brief, clear and to the point. “By doing that, I am able to cram a number of things in the day and move people in and out more effectively and more efficiently,” McCullough says. People generally don’t need as much time as they ask for. Meetings are time vampires. Be ruthless in managing this endemic productivity drain so you can focus on high value tasks.

4. Set up productivity rituals. Tony Schwartz, CEO of The Energy Project, provides four tips for setting up rituals to automate behaviors that will make us more productive, without depleting our energy reservoir. One of them is prioritizing one key task to accomplish per day, and starting your day focused on that task. “Force yourself to prioritize so that you know that you will finish at least that one critical task during the period of the day when you have the most energy and the fewest distractions,” Schwartz says.

5. Get up earlier. Research shows that mornings can make or break your day. It’s not uncommon for successful CEOs to start their day well before 6 a.m. In 27 Executives Who Wake Up Really Early, we see how incredibly busy people—from Jeff Immelt, CEO of GE, to Indra Nooyi, CEO of PepsiCo—use their mornings to seize the day. Use the mantra “mind over mattress” to motivate yourself to get out of bed to pursue your goals. As Laura Vanderkam says in What Successful People Do Before Breakfast: A Short Guide To Making Over Your Morning—And Life, while many are sleeping in, successful people are already up and getting a lot done. If this is not your preference, Vanderkam advises to start with small steps, such as getting up just 15 minutes earlier every day and gradually increasing the time.

6. Group your interruptions. This idea comes from restaurateur Danny Meyer. He has his assistant group all questions that come up during the day in one list so she doesn’t have to interrupt him repeatedly during office hours. Take a cue from this and see how you can ask others on your team to group questions, requests and other non-urgent inquiries so you’re not distracted by interruptions that don’t add value.

7. Outsource personal chores. Highly productive people are selective about how they expend their energy. They don’t waste it on tasks that others can do. For example, Alexis Ohanian, founder of Reddit, uses services such as Fancy Hands, an army of virtual assistants. Others automate grocery shopping with sites such as Amazon’s Subscribe and Save, or services that deliver groceries to your doorstep. Others even use services such as Plated, which delivers perfectly measured ingredients for chef designed meals at home. Do a cost/benefit analysis of how you spend your time and see if it’s worth offloading some repetitive tasks so you can focus on what will bring value to your company.

8. Set up email rules to maintain sanity. Katia Beauchamp and Hayley Barna, founders of Birchbox, insist that team members indicate when they need a response in all emails. This simple tip helps with prioritization. Designer Mike Davidson has set up an email policy that limits any email he sends to five sentences. As he explains, many email messages in his inbox take more time for him to answer than they did for the sender to write. Analyze your email habits and institute time-saving policies that work for your particular situation.

9. Capture all creative ideas. The world renowned scientist Dr. Linus Pauling once said, “The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas.” Most leaders and entrepreneurs are visionaries who generally don’t lack good ideas; however, capturing all these ideas is often a challenge for busy people. Evernote is a popular, free program for collecting ideas. (Here’s a list of other tools to consider.)

10. Increase your effectiveness through technology. There’s a wealth of programs to make a small-business owner more effective in increasing productivity. A few popular tools—some of which are free—include Dropbox to store files online; Any Meeting to host a webinar; Basecamp for project management; Trello for keeping track of projects and deadlines, and Hootsuite or Buffer to schedule your social media postings.

11. Don’t lose it: Read it later. Don’t miss out on important information because you’re in a rush and have no time to read. Two programs help you scoop information to read later. Get Pocket allows you to put articles, videos and any other information into a virtual pocket, saved directly from any site. Another worthwhile program is Instapaper, which allows you to save long Web pages to read later when you have time.

12. Learn from others. Consider subscribing to Lifehacker’s How I Work series, which asks highly successful people to share their best time-saving tips. For example, Eric Koger, founder of ModCloth, shares his nerdiest way to save time: His keyboard layout is Colemak. Learning Colemak is a one-time investment that allows for much faster typing. This site provides an abundance of advice on how super busy, successful entrepreneurs salvage time.

Copyright © 2013 by Bruna Martinuzzi. All Rights Reserved.

This article first appeared in my column at AMEX.

Journalist and entrepreneur Mitch Racliffe said, “A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history—with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.” Even when you haven’t made any mistakes, the unexpected can, and usually will, occur at the most inopportune time: when you’re delivering a high-stakes presentation to a prospective client, or at an event such as a trade show.

Don’t be caught off guard. Here are some helpful tips and tools to help you deal with these potential problems so you can focus on your company message.

1. Know how to recover a corrupt PowerPoint file. Just before your presentation, you might discover that you’re unable to open your PowerPoint file. This can easily happen with very large files. Echo Swinford, Microsoft MVP, provides step by step guidelines on what to do if this happens to you. Print the article and keep it with your presentation material, as you never know when you might need it. There are also third-party recovery tools that can help you if you’re unable to recover a corrupt PowerPoint file, including Kernel PowerPoint Repair Software, Stellar Phoenix PowerPoint Repair, and Unistal PowerPoint Repair Tool.

2. Pack a PowerPoint Viewer. If you’re not using your own laptop for the presentation, make sure that the presentation laptop supports the version of PowerPoint you used to create your presentation. A simple way to avoid any unpleasant surprises is simply to download the free PowerPoint viewer onto a flash drive to take with you.

3. Don’t rely on Internet connectivity. Internet connections aren’t bulletproof. If you need to display information from your website, or any other website, be prepared in case the Internet connection is interrupted during your presentation. A simple solution is to create a few slides with screenshots of all the pages you need for the presentation. One of the easiest ways to capture screenshots is by downloading Skitch, a powerful, free program. Skitch will even allow you to annotate the pages to add useful information (and it provides a video demonstrating how to use the program).

4. Know which movie file formats to use. It pays to become knowledgeable about which file formats don’t work with PowerPoint so you can convert your video file to avoid a nasty surprise. This list from Microsoft tells you which video file formats will work with PowerPoint. If the file format is not there, you will need to convert your movie file to a format that PowerPoint supports. One quick way to do this is to use a free file converter such as Zamzar. Upload your movie file and convert it to an acceptable format such as MPG.

5. Eliminate color illegibility. You may be surprised to discover that the font color you used for your presentation doesn’t display well on a projector. This is often the case when marketing departments use, for example, pale color fonts to match the color of the logo. You can use the Color Contrast Calculator to find out if the colors you’re planning to use on your slides provide enough contrast to be clearly seen by the audience.

6. Avoid animations. You may find yourself running out of time and having to speed up your presentation. In that case, the complex, slow animation you had planned will slow you down. We look foolish standing there watching for an animation to take its course. Better to limit the use of these animations or avoid them altogether.

7. Use your own remote. It’s surprising how many people still advance slides by using the down arrow on the computer. A remote gives you power to move around and focus your eyes on the audience rather than on your laptop. Invest in a remote you can carry with you. When they rely on whatever remote is at the venue, speakers often fumble, go backward instead of forward, and fiddle with it until they get used to it. This chips away at your presence. Don’t forget to pack extra batteries for your remote.

8. Know the electrical voltage and outlets used abroad. If you’re presenting abroad, come prepare with the right adapter or plug. Electrical Outlet gives you a handy list of electrical outlets used worldwide.

9. Disable notifications and sleep mode. Even though we’re all aware of this, it’s easy to forget this step. Deactivate screen savers, Skype, instant messages, email alerts and other pop-up windows. They make you look unprepared. Also, disable the sleep or standby mode on your laptop. This WikiHow article will show you how to disable automatic sleep. If you’re using Windows 7, you can also use the Windows Mobility Center to adjust your settings to Presentation Mode. With one click, you’ll prevent your laptop from going dormant in the middle of a presentation and all system notifications will be turned off.

10. Beware of labels on DVDs. If you plan to show a DVD that you borrowed from the library, don’t. The adhesive label is more than likely to create problems. The same applies to a DVD you create. Use appropriate markers for writing on DVDs and know where to write to avoid problems.

11. Use several backup methods. It pays to be paranoid when it comes to backing up your important presentation: Don’t rely on just one backup method. Use two flash drives to back up the PowerPoint file, as these devices aren’t infallible. Consider also backing up your presentation online by using an online storage program such as Dropbox, iCloud or SlideRocket.

Murphy’s Law of Thermodynamics tells us that “things get worse under pressure.” We can relieve this pressure by knowing how to stop presentation demons in their track.

Copyright © 2013 by Bruna Martinuzzi. All Rights Reserved.

There is a growing body of research in behavioral economics which shows that we use an irrational approach to decision-making. What exactly is behavioral economics? One of the best definitions comes from British economist, Dan Evans, who said: “Put simply, behavioural economics argues that human beings’ decision-taking is guided by the evolutionary baggage which we bring with us to the present day. Evolution has made us rational to a point, but not perfectly so. It has given us emotions, for example, which programme us to override our rational brain and act more instinctively.” A lack of understanding of how we choose  can have profound consequences on our behavior.

Here are some tips on how we can avoid falling into irrational traps so that we can be more successful in both our personal and business life.

1. Understand the pull of partial ownership.

A popular book on behavioral economics is Dan Ariely’s Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions. Ariely reports on the influence of ownership in our decision-making. It turns out that we begin to feel ownership even before we actually own something.  Let’s say we have a basic cable television service and we are offered a trial version of the “digital gold service” package. Ariely found that in “free trial” packages, owning something even temporarily makes it difficult to give it up later. This also taps into our aversion to loss. The  emotions of ownership make us unconsciously decide  that the “loss” of digital gold is more painful than spending more money. Understanding the phenomenon of temporary ownership on our psyche can help us approach temptations with greater awareness and caution.

2. Preempt customer revenge.

In his subsequent book, The Upside of Irrationality: The Unexpected Benefits of Defying Logic At Work And At Home, Ariely explores the need for people to seek revenge for poor customer service and other annoyances. For example, when a customer rep interrupted an explanation to take a personal phone call, and returned to the person without an apology for the interruption, it significantly increased the odds that the person who was treated discourteously did not return an overpayment. Ariely provides a formula for neutralizing the desire for revenge: “1 annoyance + 1 apology = 0 annoyance.”  For more insights on customer revenge, see Ariely’s video: “The Case For Revenge.”

3. Choose carefully between social norms and market norms.

Ariely talks about the difference between social norms (which are friendly requests not requiring instant payback) and market norms (which deal with wages, prices, rents, interest, and cost-and-benefits.) A day care center decided to fine parents who didn’t pick up their children on time. The fine violated a prior social contract between the day care center and parents that allowed for being late. When a fine was charged, parents viewed the situation in terms of market norms: since they were paying for being late, they frequently opted to be late. When the day care center decided to remove the fine, the parents continued to pick up their children late. Later pick-ups even increased. We cannot switch from establishing a warm relationship with a customer one day—treating them as family—and the next day, switch to an impersonal relationship because it suits us better. When a social norm collides with a market norm, the social norm disappears, and will more likely never return. In other words, it is difficult to reestablish a social relationship.

4. Reconsider your first impressions.

In Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior, Ori and Rom Brafman report on experiments involving  “value attribution”—one of the hidden psychological forces that cause us to make pre-emptive judgments. Value attribution is defined as our inclination to attribute to someone or something qualities based on initial perception of their value rather than on objective data.  In an experiment, Joshua Bell, one of the nation’s greatest violinists, wore a baseball cap, and went to a sub-way station, where he took out his $3.5 million Stradivarius and played some of the most challenging pieces of music ever played for a violin. Value attribution caused more than a thousand people to view Bell as just another street musician and to stream past him. First impressions can often narrow our perceptions. It’s smart to catch yourself after you have made an assumption about the value of someone or something based on superficial appearances. Much as this is hard to do in the moment, work on cultivating your ability to have a discerning eye—in other words, reconsider hasty evaluations of others.

5. Know the hidden effects of price discounting.

In an experiment, Ariely assembled a group of students, and offered them a can of SoBe Adrenaline Rush drink, prior to their taking an IQ test. He told them that the drink has a positive effect on their mental acuity. He charged the students $2.89 for the drink. Students performed slightly better on the test than those who didn’t have the drink before the test. He then offered another group of students the same drink for 89 cents and told them that it was heavily discounted. The scores of the students who drank the discounted SoBe dropped significantly. Here again, we see the power of value attribution: It is so compelling that it causes us to alter our perception of a product or service after they have been discounted off their regular price. We now unconsciously value the product or service less than if we had paid full price for it. Does this mean that you should never discount the price of your services? No, but you should carefully consider when it might not be prudent to do so.

6. Offer less options.

In North America, we are accustomed to think that when we are given more choices, we are likely to make a better choice. In a now famous study, Sheena Iyengar, author of The Art of Choosing,  presented consumers at a supermarket tasting booth six different jams and a $1 off coupon to encourage them to buy jam. Every few hours, new groups of consumers were offered 24 jam options with the same $1 coupon. It turns out that 30% of consumers who had seen the smaller assortment were able to quickly pick a jam from the store isle and continue shopping. The ones who were presented with a large assortment took longer to decide and only 3% ended up buying jam. While there is no denying that we value having choices, it is also true that choices cause stress and may lead to our inability to choose. In A Better Choosing Experience, Iyengar offers four tips to help businesses with the choosing process:

1. Cut the number of options.
2. Create confidence with expert or personalized recommendations.
3. Categorize your offerings so that consumers better understand their options.
4. Condition consumers by gradually introducing them to more-complex choices.

7. Beware of those who say: “It will set a precedent.”

All of us have at some point decided not to adopt a decision because someone said: “We can’t do this. It will set a precedent.” This is the wrong reason for abandoning a decision. Whether or not it sets a precedent is irrelevant. As Stuart Sutherland, British psychologist and author of Irrationality, says: “The decision should be made on its own merits.” Guard against discarding what could be a very good decision because of faulty reasoning. Setting a precedent may be a legitimate reason for not adopting a certain course of action, but don’t allow it to sway you before carefully examining the value of the decision.

We need to rethink how we and others around us make decisions, and recognize which repeated decision-making processes don’t serve us well, so that we can start to learn how to avoid them.  As Albert Camus said: “Life is the sum of all your choices.” Gaining insights into irrational motives that affect our personal and work lives is a good place to start.

Copyright © 2013 by Bruna Martinuzzi. All Rights Reserved.

This article first appeared in my column at AMEX.

Samuel Butler said: “Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself.” We all have an inner voice that tells us when we need to have a difficult conversation with someone—a conversation that, if it took place, would improve life at the office for ourselves and for everyone else on the team. But fear drowns our inner voice. It induces us to procrastinate having the conversation for fear that it might elicit a negative reaction. Meanwhile the offending individual continues to provide substandard performance, missing deadlines and the like; or having interpersonal conflicts, and exhibiting toxic behavior.

The consequence of not facing these issues head-on is costly. A CPP Inc. study of workplace conflict reveals that employees in the U.S. spend roughly 2.8 hours per week dealing with conflict. 33% of employees report that the conflict led to personal injury and attacks, and 22% report that it led to illness and absence from work. 10% report that project failure was a direct result of conflict. A similar study by Psychometrics in Canada, showed that 32% of employees have to deal with conflict regularly. More alarming is a recent study by Accenture revealing that, even in this challenging economic climate, 35% of employees leave their jobs voluntarily because of internal politics.

Substandard performance and unmanaged conflicts will adversely impact your bottom line. Businesses are losing billions of dollars because leaders have not stepped forward to deal with these difficult workplace issues decisively before they get out of hand. One way to step forward is to have the difficult conversation early on before the problems escalate and damage morale, and the business.

If you are unsure how to best approach this crucial conversation, here are some tips to guide you:

1. Be clear about the issue.

To prepare for the conversation, you need to ask yourself two important questions: “What exactly is the behavior that is causing the problem?” and  “What is the impact that the behavior is having on you, the team or the organization?” You need to reach clarity for yourself so that you can articulate the issue in two or three succinct statements. If not, you risk going off on a tangent during the conversation and end up having an unfocused discussion. The lack of focus on the central issue will derail the conversation and sabotage your intentions.

2. Know your objective.

What do you want to accomplish with the conversation? What is the desired outcome? What are the non-negotiables? As English philosopher, Theodore Zeldin, put it: A successful conversation “doesn’t just reshuffle the cards: it creates new cards.” What are the new cards that you want to have in your hands by the end of the conversation? Once you have determined this, plan how you will close the conversation. Don’t end without clearly expressed action items. What is the person agreeing to do? What support are you committed to provide?  What obstacles might prevent these remedial actions from taking place? What do you both agree to do to overcome potential obstacles? Schedule a follow up face-to-face meeting, phone call, or email to evaluate progress and definitively reach closure on the issue at hand.

3. Adopt the right mindset. 

Spend a little time to reflect on your attitude towards the situation and the person involved. What are your preconceived notions about it? Your mindset will predetermine your reaction and interpretations of the other person’s responses, so it pays to work on approaching the conversation with the right mindset. The right mindset is one of inquiry. A good doctor diagnoses a situation before reaching for his prescription pad. This applies equally to a leader. Be open to hear first what the other person has to say before reaching closure in your mind. Even if the evidence is so clear that there is no reason to beat around the bush, we still owe it to the person to let them tell their story. A good leader remains open and seeks a greater truth in any situation. The outcome of adopting this approach might surprise you.

4. Manage the emotions.

Most of us were likely raised to believe that emotions need to be left at the door. We now know that this is an old school approach that is no longer valid in today’s work environments. It is your responsibility as a leader to understand and manage the emotions in the discussion. The late Robert Plutchik, professor at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, created a Wheel of Emotions to show that emotions follow a path. What starts as an annoyance, for example, can move to anger and, in extreme cases, escalate to rage. We can avoid this by being mindful of preserving the person’s dignity—and treating them with respect—even if we totally disagree with them. In some cases, you may have to respond to a person’s tears. In the video “How To Handle Tears At Work,” Anne Kreamer, author of It’s Always Personal: Navigating Emotion in the New Workplace, provides several strategies. These include acknowledging the tears rather than ignoring them, offering the person a tissue to give them a chance to gather their thoughts, and recognizing that the tears communicate a problem to be addressed.

5. Be comfortable with silence.

There will be moments in the conversation where a silence occurs. Don’t rush to fill it with words. Just as the pause between musical notes helps us appreciate the music, so the periodic silence in the conversation allows us to hear what was said. It gives us an opportunity to reflect. It lets the message sink in. As Susan Scott says in Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success At Work And In Life One Conversation At A Time, “let silence do the heavy lifting.”  A pause also has a calming effect and can help us connect better. For example, if you are an extrovert, you are likely uncomfortable with silence as you are used to thinking while you are speaking. This can be perceived as steamrolling or overbearing, especially if the other party is an introvert. Introverts want to think before they speak. Stop talking and allow them their moment—it can lead to a better outcome.

6. Preserve the relationship.

A leader who has high emotional intelligence is always mindful to limit any collateral damage to a relationship. It takes years to build bridges with people and only minutes to blow them up. Think about how the conversation can fix the situation, without erecting an irretrievable wall between you and the person.

7. Be consistent.

Ensure that your objective is fair and that you are using a consistent approach. For example, if the person thinks that you have one set of rules for this person and a different set for another, you will be perceived as creating favorites. Nothing erodes a relationship faster than perceived inequality. Employees have long-term memories of how you handled situations in the past. Aim for consistency in your leadership approach. We trust a leader who is consistent because we don’t have to second-guess where they stand on important issues such as culture, corporate values and acceptable behaviors.

8. Develop your conflict resolution skills.

Conflict is a natural part of human interaction. Managing conflict effectively is one of the vital skills of leadership. Have a few, proven phrases that can come in handy in crucial spots. For more tips on how to handle conflict, read my article: No Batteries Required: 8 Conflict Resolution Tips.

9. Watch your reaction to thwarting ploys.

In a Harvard Business Review article, Sarah Green lists nine common mistakes we make when we conduct a difficult conversation. One of these mistakes is how we handle thwarting ploys, such as stonewalling, sarcasm, and accusing. The best advice is to simply address the ploy openly and sincerely.  As the author says, if the ploy from your counterpart is stubborn unresponsiveness, you can candidly say:  “I don’t know how to interpret your silence.” Disarm the ploy by labeling the observed behavior.

10. Choose the right place to have the conversation.

Calling people into your office may not be the best strategy. Sitting in your own turf, behind your desk,  shifts the balance of power too much on your side. Even simple body language such as leaning forward towards the person rather than leaning back on your chair, can carry a subtle message of your positive intentions, i.e.: “We’re in this together. Let’s problem solve so that we have a better workplace.”  Consider holding the meeting in a neutral place such as a meeting room where you can sit adjacent to each other without the desk as a barrier. Don’t exclude the coffee shop.

11. Know how to begin.

Some people put off having the conversation because they don’t know how to start. The best way to start is with a direct approach. “John, I would like to talk with you about what happened at the meeting this morning when Bob asked about the missed deadline. Let’s grab a cup of coffee tomorrow morning to chat.” Or: “Linda, I want to go over some of the issues with XYZ customer and some concerns that I have. Let’s meet tomorrow morning to problem-solve.” Being upfront is the authentic and respectful approach. You don’t want to ambush people by surprising them about the nature of the “chat.” Make sure your tone of voice signals discussion and not inquisition, exploration and not punishment.

12. Train other leaders on how to handle the difficult conversation.

There are dozens of good books written on this crucial topic. Pick up two or three copies for your corporate library and encourage leaders in your organization to develop this important skill. Here are a couple of suggestions:  Difficult Conversations: How To Discuss What Matters Most and Crucial Conversations: Tools For Talking When Stakes Are High.

Handling the difficult conversation requires skill and empathy, but ultimately, it requires the courage to go ahead and do it. The 19th century American politician, William Jennings Bryan once said: “The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you.” The more you get into the habit of facing these issues squarely, the more adept you will become at it. It will take your leadership skills to the next level.

Copyright © 2013 by Bruna Martinuzzi. All Rights Reserved.